Trying to start again!

Here I am again trying to get back on track. We had so much drama over the weekend with Joe"s mom, that I used that as an excuse to stop my fast. I am just trying to push my restart button and try again, but I am finding that I am growing discouraged with the whole thing. I just want to be free from dieting. Food evidently has a much bigger hold on my life than I had imagined.

"Lord, please break this addiction to food that I am holding on to. I don't understand why this is so hard for me. I need more of you and less of me. Help me to eat to satisfy my physical need, but look to you to fill me."

I am going to start again tomorrow. I might just give weighdown one last try. Only God knows what I need. I can't keep going on like this. My weight is still 260 or so, but I feel the effects of every extra pound. I know that only God can deliver me out of slavery. I just have to look to him for the answers.

Yesterdays' Mistake!

I made the mistake yesterday of doing two things. First I weighed myself, which I told myself that I wouldn't. I had lost about 5 lbs, but I think that made me a little too relaxed/ My journey with this fast isn't only about weight loss. Its about getting into a deeper relationship with the Lord and out of one with food. I don't want this journey to be about the scale. I want to lose weight--Absolutely! I want to replace my desire for food with the desire for the Lord more.
My second mistake was to break fast at lunch instead of dinner. I thought I could eat lunch and I wouldn't eat dinner. That was a huge mistake in my thiinking. We had lunch at Chilis in the afternoon and I ate chips and guac and salsa-not too many. I also had about half of my explosion salad. Not a bad lunch, but by dinner time I was starving. I ate most of a brisket sub from Firehouse Subs and part of Matthews'. I had a few crackers with cheese before dinner and I had some raisinettes at the movies later that night. Although my eating wasn't out of control, I still feel sluggish and I want to make sure that I start to listen to my body and not just the cravings I am having.

Today we are going to Santa's Christmas Tree Farm. There will be hotdogs, kettlecorn, smores, and alot more goodies to stay away from. I am planning on having some hot chocolate while I'm there. I am going to only eat dinner tonight and I want to get back on track. I know that yesterday was definitely not a splurge day, but it was a gentle reminder that I can get led away so easily. I will take yesterday for what it was, a good lesson learned.

"Father, I desire to serve you with my whole being. Please help me to fast for you. Please help me to see that food cannot be my god. Only you can be God in my life. I need you so much. I cannot complete anything without your Spirit. Lord help me to have some self control. Lord I pray tha you would do a work in my heart to desire more of you and less of me. In Jesus name, Amen."

Intermittent Fasting- A New Way of Life

So, my thoughts on intermittent fasting -----I love it! It was difficult the day before yesterday due to alot of physical hunger, but I was able to last until 6 p.m. I broke fast with stuffing crusted chicken, scalloped potatoes, mixed steamed veggies and a small handful of chocolate chips. I also had a piece of raisin toast with peanut butter and jelly later around 10 p.m. I found as I ate slowly, I was able to leave some on my plate due to fullness. I hope to lose weight this way, but most of all , I want to seek after God to fill me and not the food. I want to be set free from the pull of food on my life. It has controlled me far too long. My desire is to give my life to Him fully. I long to serve Him with my whole heart and seek what He has for my life.

"Father, give me the desire to live for you with all that I am. Help me to be continually dependent on you and look to you to fill me. As I walk through this new way of life, give me the strength and ability to accomplish the call on my life. I love you Lord and I desire to live for you!"

I will post tomorrow for accountablity to myself. I want to start being honest with myself and holding myself to a higher standard. I don't want my kids to go through what Joe and I are going through with his mom. I know that I need to do something about my weight and health now while I still can. I am thankful that God has called me to this and I have fatih that He will complete the good work He's begun!

Staying on track with the Lord!

Intermittent fasting is going well. I am finding that being hungry isn't a bad thing. I didn't weigh myself yesterday and I'm not sure that I will weigh for awhile. I know that God is going to do a work in my heart as well as a work in my body. I so desire to give up food as my idol. I know that I can't do this without the Lord leading me. I have been hungry most of the day and look forward to my dinner meal with my family. I plan to have a small bowl of Chili, and a turkey pot pie. I hope to eat aroung 6 o"clock and can't wait to enjoy dinner with my family. God is so good that he would provide for me and that I will be able to lose weight while enjoying regular food.
Last night I broke fast at 6:15 p.m. I wasn't very hungry during the day because all of the pain I had been experiencing with my back. Joe and I went to Chili's for our usual Monday night date. I ate chips with avacado dip and salsa. I overdid it on the chips-ugh! I also had my usual quesadilla salad and 1/2 a york peppermint patty later that evening. Overall, I was satisfied the rest of the night. I found out that by 10 o"clock I wanted food again. I asked the Lord to help me and I was able to go without anymore food for the night.
I know the Lord desires my heart and he will give the strength to be able to accopmplish what he's called me to do. I look forward to seeking him more and getting to know him in a deeper way. As I turn to him and not the food I can grow in him. He offers me freedom and life. I am so thankful that he is drawing me to him and he will complete the good work he's begun!

I'm Back!

It has been quite some time since my last post. I no longer work due to my knee surgery and my weight has completely spiraled out of control.. I have been asking the Lord how to be free. He led me to a couple of sites about intermittent fasting. You fast 19 hours and have a five hour window for eating. I would fast from 10 p.m at night until 5-10 p.m the next night. I really feel that this could be the only way to true freedom. The desire for me to overeat is huge. I have never had a time in my life when all I did was either think about what I could eat or what I had to avoid. This type of eating allows me to eat dinner with my family and not worry about eating too many calories. Fasting is not easy. Giving up my will is not easy. I long to draw closer to my King and learn from him. I want what he wants for me. I want to be able to conquer my flesh and my desire to place food as god in my life. There is only one God in my life and he gave me his son so that I might have freedom. I long to sing his praises not just with my lips on
Sunday, but every day of my life. What an honor it is to worship the God Who Created the Universe. I want to worship him with my life. I desire to bring glory and honor to him with everything I think, say and do. Yes, and do! That means bringing God worship in how I Eat!!!! Am I looking to the God of the Universe as my provider? Am I seeking him daily to be filled? Or am I looking to other things (food, approval of others, me time, entertainment, worldy ambitions) to fill me?

"Father, I pray that you would be my focus today and always. Lord, break this food addiction that I have. Draw me by your Spirit and fill me. Be my God and cast out anything in this temple that does not belong. You alone are God and I desire for you to be the only God in my life. Bring me to a place where food, weightloss and the scale have no reign over my life. I desire to live for you Jesus with everything that I am. Create me to be the woman you desire and let me be wholely devoted to you . I love you Jesus, Amen."